


Exclamation Point

by PaintedYertle



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers for first season, St Petersburg Apartment days, Yurio says the f word, post-Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9408110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedYertle/pseuds/PaintedYertle
Summary: It was more than a little unnerving to hear Viktor so…breathless. A shiver went up Yurio’s spine. Most obnoxious couples at least have the decency to wait until late hours when no one is paying attention to who obsesses over who. Did they just time it for when he was awake, as a strategy for him to lose focus? The bastards!AKA Yurio spends the night at Yuuri and Viktor's place and hears things.





	

            “Where would you like to be touched?” asked the marshmallow swine.

            Yurio clamped his pillow over his ears and kept himself from screaming. This is what he gets for trying to rest up early.

            “Where do _you_ like it?” asked the one-eyed tease. It was no good. The layer of pillow was no help. He could even hear their sheets rustling from the next room over. While they were giving Yurio the “tour” of their redecorated apartment he had seen that their bed was pushed against one of the walls so it was almost as if they were in a bed close beside him. One would think someone with so much fame would have thicker walls but Yurio has been proven wrong about assumptions before.

            “Um, I sort prefer it like - No no no,” that stupid stupid swine’s voice switches tone, to something lower and more seductive (if only he knew how to whisper too!), “Uh uh. I asked you first.”

            Stay over, they said. We’ll teach you to make a proper breakfast on your own, they said. It’ll be more fun to go to practice together in the morning, they said.

            Their bodies are movie; Yurio can hear them shifting. He can’t tell what position they could be in beyond the wall nor does he want to. Jeez it must be like stacking a Ken doll and male Bratz doll on top of each other.

            “Why don’t you search for it instead?” Yurio released the pillow to repeatedly smack his forehead with his open palms.

            In light of his recent gold winnings, Yakov, Lilia, and the other skaters encouraged Yurio to head to bed earlier to stay rested even in the off season. Rearranging his sleep schedule was difficult enough without two animals losing control of themselves in the next room over.

            Headphones. He needs headphones.

            Yurio threw the blanket off himself to search the floor for his suitcase. He hid his cell phone from himself before he went to bed for the specific purpose of keeping away from distractions but oh well! There was very little light in the room, only one still on from the hall intruding under the door. Trapped in the darkness he felt around the floor with his foot, knocking over a box of pixie-sticks and stepping on a half-empty bag of salt-free chips. None of which he was supposed to be eating but shhhhh.

            Yurio was not sure if he should consider it lucky or not that the two shut their mouths for a damn moment to “explore” one another. Most obnoxious couples at least have the decency to wait until late hours when no one is paying attention to who obsesses over who. But nooooooooo, not the two he knows. Did they just time it for when he was awake, as a strategy for him to lose focus? The bastards! _Just try to take my gold_! Both of them seemed to have lost their decency to the spellbind of that Eros performance. Perhaps it was a good thing Yurio wasn’t the one to perform it.

            “Your muscles are so taught,” said the bloated swine (which he will always be on the inside, no matter how well he hides it), “How do you keep this up once the season is over?”

            “Well, enjoy it while you can. It helps that we have different physiques. And I can find _other_ ways to stay active.”

            “I can feel your heartbeat picking up.”

            Oh no they’re talking again. Worse, they’re talking about their bodies. Yurio side-eyed the bag of potato chips and other candies he brought, staring back up at him daring him to test how far his high metabolism could take him. Time moves him even when he isn’t paying attention, and he’ll be sixteen the next time he performs professionally. He kicked at the bags, sending a rain of chips across his floor. Now there was a mess. Delightful. Yurio breathed in through his nostrils, then out through his gritted teeth.

            He moved over to pick up the chips when, underneath his pile of his impulse-buy jackets, he stubbed his toe on something. It must have been where his suitcase was stashed. Yurio stifled a swear as he held himself up against the wall, a poster hanging up of Viktor Nikiforov’s prime mocking him. Why the guest room requires this detail of interior decorating he’ll never know. Either one of the residents here could be that indulgent. He stumbled back and rummaged through the inside of his suitcase, but could only find his phone unconnected to his headphones.

            “When I used to imitate your skating…um…I mean, I guess I still do…”

            “Go on.”

            “Well, I would notice…the way you move. The ways you balance and hold yourself. And when I imitated that I would notice our differences. And knowing you in real life is very similar. Being around you, being able to touch you, I’ve noticed things. More…subtle, sensitive things. I don’t know how much that helps but there are things I’ve noticed.”

            “How perceptive of you, Yuuri.”

            There was no way to tell exactly what was happening over there but both the rustling and possibly the tease’s breathing picked up in pace. Oh god oh god oh god he’s making noises this isn’t happening oh god why Yurio what sin did he commit why why why

            Unlocking his phone took Yurio straight to his texts (his homescreen is a white tiger, an animal strong and awed by the public but in constant physical strain). Out of frustration Yurio wrote _AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH_ to the first person in his contacts.

            That too-chill American was the first to reply. _geez wasn’t sure if you wanted to skype or not but guess that’s a no : <_

            Yurio’s response was jackhammering the exclamation point key for a few paragraphs and hitting send. There were a few other symbols and letters thrown in there by mistake but he could not give less of a damn.

_Wtf Plisetsky whats ur damage_

            “Why did you stop?” What they stopped there is hope for humanity! “You were doing well.”

            It was more than a little unnerving to hear Viktor so…breathless. A shiver went up Yurio’s spine. Would he have to wait til morning to move to a different room or was it possible to rip one of them out of its infrastructure?

            “Sorry, you breathed in really fast and…I could feel the breath underneath your windpipe,” the swine sighed, “I’m not as used to this as you are. Is that bad?”

            While they were moving again and only gave him so much time, Yurio took the chance by turning the open bag upside-down and dumping its contents onto the floor. It made a bigger mess but accomplished faster.

            “Yuuri, _relax._ There is nothing to worry over.”

            “You don’t have to massage me like that to relax me,” his voice lowered again, “Let me be the one to take care of you tonight. Let me make you feel so good you’ll remember the pleasure. I mean, you want me touch you, don’t you – not there that tickles!”

            “Oh? So still have your soft spots.”

            Nothing here. Just his skates and other shoes kept in pristine shape. By now Yurio focused all his energy not to imagine what the ever loving hell they could be talking about, what positions they could be in, what they were talking about touching and where. No! Don’t think about it. No imagining it. No. Thinking. About. _That!_ Allowed.

            “But…what if I’m too dedicated? What if I didn’t make enough connections with people? Stop _poking_ me I’m _serious_. I mean I don’t like complaining but I feel so clueless sometimes. Maybe I’d still be as good if I didn’t skate as much - I said _stop_ you’re so _bad_ pfthahaha I _hate_ you! HAHAHAHA!”

            Yurio will be hearing that laughter in his nightmares. He screamed at the top of his lungs and punched the wall.

            “Whoops, I think we woke up Yurio,” said that idiot tease who should damn well know better.

            The piglet sounded like he was trying to speak but still in the throws of a giggle fit. “What…hehehe…sorry Yurio…wait _Yurio’s home already_? For how long?!”

            “I do not know. I didn’t hear him before. How unlike him to be so quiet.” Yurio snatched one of the pillows from his bed and screamed into it. Then he smacked the pillow onto the wall four times.

            “Ohmygod oh my god do you think he heard us? Oh no oh no why me…”

            “Sorry if we woke you up Yurio!”

            Yurio moved forward and stepped on something hard and plastic. When he hopped at the pain he looked down andfound his headphones underneath his foot. It must have…been under his pillow the entire time……fancy that.

            …..Y’know, there’s that idea that for every light there is shadow, every mountain there is a slope, so perhaps earning a gold medal hit the jackpot on his luck for a while.

            With that Yurio connected the headphones to his phone and played the loudest thing he could. He jumped onto the bed and rolled messily into the covers. Eventually Yurio passed out to the lulls of screamo music. That was until his phone buzzed again and sent the notification ping to his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut, so tight he began to see colors, but the interruptions in his song wouldn't stop. He would get a text, then buzz a second time as a reminder text. Yurio picked glanced at it. It was the distracted meme child of Thailand.

            _Leo said you were upset Yurio! :O Jus making sure you were doing kay!. :/ Heres a vid of a snake licking a lollipop!_ _uwu Cat vids are overrated but maybe animal vids will cheer you up! That usually makes me think of home!!!!! ^o^ Also been binging vine compilations cause it might be dying?!?!?!?!? D: but they forget my faves! That kid with the spoons?! Blockin out the haterz amirite? >:D_

Yurio chucked his phone at the wall and aimed for the face on the posters. Yakov has been on his case to stop doing that, that just because he is a (D-class) celebrity now doesn’t mean he can be spoiled like one, but his tiger phone case usually protected against the damage. He didn’t hear any reaction from those two. Maybe they’re distracted with each other again maybe they fell asleep over each other but who cares?

 

* * *

             

            “And the worst part was after all that they didn’t even have the decency to fuck!” Yurio recounted to Mila the following morning while tying up his skates.

            “Did you…want them to?” asked Mila.

            “HELL NO! But it would have at least _led_ to something!” Yurio gave a firm tug on his laces before standing up and moving onto the ice. He spoke with her while Yakov was watching from the other side of the bar. As Viktor’s former coach he’d heard more he ever wanted to know (that being nothing) about his sex life. “Instead it was ‘weh weh poor me everyone loves me too much! Weh weh I’m too busy being a successful fantastic figure skater to get laid and I don’t know what to do! Weh but I at least know how pathetic I am weh weh weh’.”

            “Good morning to you too, Yurio!” Yuuri called from further down the rink. He was some distance away to be able to hear since Yurio was never the posterchild for subtle conversation. Yuuri glided closer towards them. “Sorry if we bothered you last night. Did you get enough sleep?”

            “Grow a spine you limp little larvae!”

            Yuuri’s eyes lidded and gave off one of his rare sly grins, “Also, successful _and_ fantastic? Yurio, I’m flattered.” Yurio made an unintelligible noise and his hands formed fists. Of course Yuuri ignored that and proceeded to grace into his practice routines. He seemed to be in a cocky mood today. Yuuri glided like a swan on water, and attacked like one too. Those movements dip into smooth grace like it’s all easy balance.

            When Viktor arrived and skated near him, spoke to him, instructing him, Yuuri softened. They were in sync without even trying. Their love was the blue fire that ignited the steam out of Yurio’s ears. If other people weren’t there he might have blown a gasket.

            Mila snapped her fingers before Yurio’s eyes. “Hey, quit looking at your boyfriends and focus. You have to be alert today.”

            Yurio pounded his fist onto the nearest surface. Ice rinks were not ideal for stomping away but he did his best and left frost flying in the air behind him. He circled around the edge, meaning he kept passing those two at the center. In the beginning of all of this Yurio watched Yuuri and Viktor waiting for a wreck to come. He’d been a bystander to Viktor’s love life and feared someone had to shield katsudon from another throwaway love affair. Thankfully Yuuri was made of stronger stuff and beat Viktor at his own game ten times over. So now Yurio had no need to worry or have anything to do with them. At least, by choice. He had to admit watching them in person, it was hard to look away.

**Author's Note:**

> YEA F YOU I gave in I wrote a Y!!!OI fic cause I'm a slut for kudos and comments (and also the relationship is fun to write yes more positive same sex couples and non-unhealthy power dynamics in anime pls. Loving couples in with salty best friend in the background gives me life)


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